Absurd, OTT Cover Of Royal Birth

Royal Birth media

But U.S. Reporting Even More Infantile, Exaggerated.
They Seem To Think Britons Ruled By Queen.
National Lottery Would Solve Problem Of Removing Monarchy.

“Americans don’t get this subtlety and their news crews insist on reporting as though the birth of a new candidate for king is important”

“We know this is completely irrelevant, mere show-biz celebrity worship”

Sometimes the media just loses complete control of itself and runs off at the mouth like a drunken energizer bunny. There’s no rational way to explain the absurd avalanche of cover of the birth of Kate and Wills first baby, although it might be some comfort to find out that although the BBC was hopelessly sycophantic, the American media was even worse.

You knew from the day photographers started camping outside the hospital weeks before the birth was expected, the media had taken leave of its collective senses. I think most of us would have been quite satisfied to learn on the news that the happy event had happened, baby and mother were doing well. But no. Endless coverage. Anchors on duty outside Buckingham Palace. Political implications (zero). When BBC royal correspondent Nicholas Witchell said today that Kate, the baby, AND WILLS, spent a comfortable night at the hospital, someone should have realised that enough was enough. Put Witchell on stress leave immediately.

On Monday evening, in the vain hope of some relief from the stupidity, I switched to Fox News. But horror of horrors, they were doing it too, at even greater and pointless length as were all the other U.S. networks I looked at. I settled down for my nightly dose of the Five on Fox News which usually is finely honed right-wing chat about the news of the day, and they spent the first half an hour talking about the birth.

Explain to the Five
I took it upon myself to try and explain to the Five, via Twitter, that they had got it all wrong about the British Royal Family. The Five, and their U.S. colleagues, still seem to think that we are actually ruled by the Royal Family, who have some kind of role in our system of governance. The Queen of course has no power at all, and certainly the Princes, Dukes and Duchesses have none either. It’s been that way for at least 200 years, when we’ve let the monarch pose as powerful by reading speeches written for them by the government of the day. For very British, anti-triumphalist reasons, we allow our royal family to pretend they are in power, when of course they haven’t got any at all. Unfortunately, the Americans don’t seem to get this subtlety and their news crews insist on reporting as though the birth of a new candidate for king is important and significant for the British. Most of us know this is completely irrelevant and mere show-biz celebrity worship.

Popular demand? No
In Britain we are told that this blanket cover is in response to popular demand the world over. But this is simply a media thing. The TV, radio and newspapers have convinced themselves there is a massive interest in this non-story, so they produce a tsunami of useless cover. The first 19 pages of today’s Daily Mail were pointless mush about the birth.

Then we have the lefty monarchy haters being paraded, which momentarily makes me a supporter of the royal family. Then I remember my subtle plan. If we dump the monarchy and bring in a Republic, that would mean failed politicians like Tony Blair, Gordon Brown or John Major, might reappear as Presidents to flaunt themselves as important political players when we thought we were rid of them. We can’t do that. We could abolish the monarchy and allow the Prime Minister to do the job. But that would be time consuming and dilute the PMs chance to do that job properly.

I think I have the answer.

Given that the job takes almost no intellectual capability, and only really adds up to opening fetes, welcoming visiting heads of state and reading speeches written by politicians, why not make it first prize in the national lottery? The winner and his/her partner would get the job for a year.

This would be so popular that millions of pounds would be raised, providing enough money to finance the reform of Parliament, privatise the health service and the BBC, and payoff the national debt. And no disrespect to Her Majesty, we would wait until after her death to implement the plan, to which few would object, given that Prince Charles is the heir apparent.

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